Eonwriter
#1
I'm sure some of you have heard me proclaiming myself as a writer, so I figured I'd actually back myself up on that claim and post the things I've written. This thread will be just for the short stories and one-shots I write, and if I ever decide to write something longer (and I do have something planned for NaNo, if I can find the time between exams) it'll probably go in its own thread. So I'll start off with the four most recent things I've written. And please, if you're going to post here, spare me no criticism. Be as brutal as you can, I want to improve.

Anyway, my first piece is pretty short. I wrote it shortly after I decided to actually join my school's creative writing club this year. It's based on a prompt they gave me, She lowered the knife and it glowed even brighter. This was the first thing I'd written in a long time, so I viewed it as sort of a warm-up exercise.

The second piece is something I personally am very proud of. It's where my character Vince I used for Blank Slate originated, and contains spoilers to his background, so don't read this if you're part of Blank Slate, assuming that's going to come back.

Up next is some fanfiction. To be specific, Homestuck fanfiction. I don't usually write fanfic as I don't trust myself with other peoples' characters, but this is more of a retelling of a particular story event than something I invented. Needless to say, it contains spoilers for Act 5 of Homestuck. Read at your own risk.

This last piece is something I wrote very recently. I wrote it to enter in a competition at the last minute, and as such it's not as revised as the other three. It was an experiment on my part. I tried to step out of my usual writing comfort zone and try out a new genre. To be honest, this is probably fairly sloppy, but that's where you come in.

So there you have it. My, admittedly probably mediocre, writings. Be sure to tell me what you thought, and remember, no holding back.
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#2
I read the first and third of these; I skipped the second for spoilers, and the last because it's much too long for me to read at the moment. Based on what I've seen, however, you're quite good at what you're doing, and I can offer little advice thus far. That you could create such a situation based on a single fragmented sentence ("She lowered the knife and it grew even brighter") is an amazing thing to do, and you should be proud of yourself. The Homestuck fanfiction was clever as well, and the final line had me chuckling a bit. Those Equius feels are pretty intense, though. I'm just thankful you didn't put Nepeta in there.
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#3
Well, well, well.  It's been quite some time, hasn't it?  Three years in fact.  I wish I could say I've spent those three years vigorously writing away and I now have a library of masterpieces to share, but that's not the case.  I don't write as often as I used to, but I'd say the hobby has been replaced by one that requires an equal amount of creativity: tabletop role-playing.  As both a player and a GM I like to think I've learned a fair amount about both world and character building.  Why bother mentioning this?  Because one of my favourite parts of TTRPGs is creating character backstories, and I've developed a bit of a habit of writing my backstories in the form of a short story, rather than just writing a sequence of events.  I find it helps me to empathise with the character and get into their head better, as well as hopefully providing the GM with a bit more entertainment.  Anyway, let's get to the stories, shall we?

This first one was inspired by a dream I had, featuring a recurring character in my stories, and my current character in the Turquoise RPG, Eli.  In the dream, Eli was in an alleyway, with a silver chest under his arm.  Someone followed him, and Eli responded by pointing a dagger at him, and saying "Don't you dare, mate."  This got my mind running about what was in the silver chest, and why Eli wanted to protect it.  Here's what I came up with, keeping the general silliness of Eli's character in mind:
The next piece also features Eli and Vince.  You see, in the D&Dverse they inhabit, Eli is a half-elf, while Vince remains human.  This means that Eli's natural lifespan is roughly twice as long as Vince's.  Since the two are the same age, I realised that this meant their partnership couldn't last forever.  This is what happened when I thought about that.
Unfortunately the theme of sadness and death isn't going away anytime soon.  The next three pieces focus on the history of one of my D&D characters.  He is an assassin for the church of the God of Death, and works to ensure that people meet their end when their time comes, killing them himself if necessary.  The first piece acts as a prequel to the first session of the game, and explains how he got to his starting position in the game.  Don't worry, the target is fine.
The second piece is set further in the past, and explains how Umranth completed his training, and came to own the White Lily.
The third piece is set even further back, and details the events that lead to Umranth joining the church and meeting Raishan in the first place.
To finish up, we have something I wrote only recently.  It's another D&D backstory, but thankfully not as grimdark and far more hopeful than the last one, thought it does have its fair share of sadness.  All good backstories do, am I right?
Well, that's all for now.  If I happen to write anything else I'll try to remember to share it here, and not leave this thread abandoned for 3 years.  Just keep in mind that it'll probably be another D&D backstory when I do.  Seeya!
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#4
Still making my way through these. Never got around to reading the first post so I'll start there with the story of the girl with the magic knife. I'm going to be commenting on these as a get time so this is all for now. xD

I like the pacing and the way this was written. I think, maybe because of the serious nature, I wouldn't have used the phrase, mince-and-cheese pies, but I supposed it paints a pretty clear picture. :P I think the most apparent thing to me about this piece was that the girl didn't seem nearly as horrified as you would think she'd be if she was just forced to murder and dance through the blood of 20 people. She seemed to stomach it and retain a level head surprisingly well. I thought it was a fun read nonetheless (I enjoy violent scenes lol)! I do realize that you wrote this over three years ago now so I'm sure you've developed more and I'm excited to get up to speed with your current pieces!
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#5
Thanks for the feedback! Looking back on the knife piece, I'm not sure I like how bloody and gruesome it is. Not that I dislike the writing itself, I've certainly written worse, but I think that given the original prompt I had I could've come up with something more interesting than 'supernatural murderific slaughterparty'. If I remember correctly, the original prompt also came with an image of a girl holding a knife as something in front of her glowed, something she'd just finished carving. I remember trying to think of something other than the murder scene I ended up with, but in the end I couldn't think of anything else so I threw up my hands and went "Well alright then, brain, I guess we're doing this."

I'm honestly not sure why I was so fixated on the bloodbath idea. Generally I like to read more upbeat stories, and I think it shows when I write like that. 'Eli Crow and the Silver Chest' is one of my favourite things I've written ever. I say that, but most of the stuff I've written in this thread has more than an element of sad to it, so maybe I don't know myself as well as I think. In any case, I'm just going to write what I feel like writing. I've been having ideas about revisiting a superhero story I wrote way back in primary school, so maybe when I'm free of exams I'll take a crack at that.
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